RIAA and Microsoft Partner to Block Digg, Pirate Bay at the OS Level

Press release:
SMALLVILLE—January 21, 2007—Microsoft has announced today that they are partnering with the RIAA to block sites that are instrumental to online piracy. Sites including The Pirate Bay, Digg, Mininova, YouTorrent, and Apple.com are not only involved in piracy, but they use excessive bandwidth as well, costing ISPs millions.

"We have determined that all Digg users are pirates, so why not stop access to their meeting place, Digg.com?"

The sites will be blocked at the OS level, utilizing a new filtering service to be added to Vista via Automatic Updates in the same patch that will deliver a 25% speed increase as well as thirty-seven critical security fixes. It will be a required update, despite the side effect of removing the ability to network with Macintosh and Linux computers.

Microsoft plans to drop Windows XP support in two weeks, so they can focus all of their development efforts on Vista...









Note: This is satire, in case you couldn't figure it out.

The Average Digg User...

1. Doesn't like Microsoft
   
2. Uses Mozilla Firefox
3. Thinks Apple users are too obsessed
4. Likes shiny things
5. Has nothing important to say about an article
6. Doesn't like Digg's comment system
7. Is 13-26 years old
8. Prefers to obtain music and video illegally, even when the legal way is easier
9. Is cheap
10. Can't write very well
11. Complains when bloggers submit their own work
12. Likes the "Bury" button too much
13. Complains about WordPress, and enjoys pointing out that "the site went down after 20 diggs"
14. Blocks ads
15. Is as mature as a 13-year-old
16. Hides behind their online alter-ego and flames everyone
17. Is intelligent enough to not use MySpace
18. Is overly sensationalistic
    
19. Would do anything for a free iPhone
20. Has too much extra time
21. Is unaware that most front-page stories were put there by a select few "elite" diggers whose votes carry more weight
    
22. Will digg anything with the words Firefox, Digg, Steve Jobs, RIAA, iPhone, Apple, Microsoft, or Linux in the title
23. Buries things too often
24. Likes headlines with large numbers in them
25. Assumes that people only write with the purpose of making it to the Digg front page.
26. Needs to get a life
27. Is only looking for entertainment

Are you an average Digg user? I hope I'm not.

The Digg Experiment

Can you make it to the Digg front page in twenty posts or less?

That's the goal of The Digg Experiment.

I will blog, and try to get my posts onto the front page. I'll try everything in my blogger's arsenal to meet my goal. Remember, from now on, there will be a 20-post limit.

What does it take to get to the front page? Let's find out.