Press release:
SMALLVILLE—January 21, 2007—Microsoft has announced today that they are partnering with the RIAA to block sites that are instrumental to online piracy. Sites including The Pirate Bay, Digg, Mininova, YouTorrent, and are not only involved in piracy, but they use excessive bandwidth as well, costing ISPs millions.

"We have determined that all Digg users are pirates, so why not stop access to their meeting place,"

The sites will be blocked at the OS level, utilizing a new filtering service to be added to Vista via Automatic Updates in the same patch that will deliver a 25% speed increase as well as thirty-seven critical security fixes. It will be a required update, despite the side effect of removing the ability to network with Macintosh and Linux computers.

Microsoft plans to drop Windows XP support in two weeks, so they can focus all of their development efforts on Vista...

Note: This is satire, in case you couldn't figure it out.

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